PEOPLE TUNING INTO ITV’s This Morning may have got more than they bargained for when a man claiming to have had sex with 700 cars appeared as a guest.

Edward Smith, a 63-year-old Washington native, told Philip Schofield and Amanda Holden that he has, ahem, had relations with over 700 vehicles, including a helicopter.

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When asked how this predilection got started, he recounted his first time with a car.

I got tempted one night to just step outside and gently caress the car. It did something for me. It kind of woke up something up inside.

Smith, who describes himself as a ‘mechaphile, has only had one girlfriend to date, but has a long-term lover in the form of a Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla.

“I first met her before I got her and then had the local Jehovah’s Witness driving around in one. There was something about that white ‘74 Beetle, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.On my own private property is where we get mostly intimate. I’m very respectful not to be seen in public.

Thank goodness for that.

Smith went onto describe the strong bond between himself and Vanilla.

When I hold Vanilla in my arms there’s a powerful energy that comes from her. I would say it is extremely satisfying but at times a little melancholy because I know she cannot talk to me. But overall I know she feels what I feel and its intense.

People watching were more than a little puzzled.

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Others were just inspired to make some car-related puns.

HEY-O.

(h/t Dangerous Minds)

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